Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Anticipation is the Lightest Emotion

Some emotions are painful to experience. They are deep, cutting, and the blood wells out of them and runs into your eyes. They are unrequited love, loss, jealousy, fear, rage. While part of you enjoys the vibrant chord they strike that reminds you of your existence, their presence needs only to touch once in awhile to burn a print into your soul, like a lit cigarette to the skin.
There are other emotions that touch lightly and flit effortlessly in and out of the light of your consciousness. They are daily happiness, companionship, ageless love, and anticipation.
To anticipate is to hold off for the moment of pleasure. It is to let hope guide you, thinking nothing of the process or the consequences. It is knowing that payoff may or may not happen, and thinking little of any other part of the equation.
Anticipation makes the climax greater. It makes the heart grow fonder, the night grow calmer, the birds sing louder. It is the building silence in the symphony, the bite of cold water on your toes before you take the plunge, the possibility of win or defeat in the last moments of tied game. Anticipation brings men and women together. It is what makes men ask women to dance, makes women smile across the room at strangers, makes friends cluster at the end of the bar watching their friend grin foolishly at a woman in the distance.
It is recognizing yourself in another’s eyes, and knowing your eyes reflect their light.
It says, “I see you. I want to know you, and I am willing to take a chance to see if my anticipation was well-founded.”
It responds, “I am worth waiting for, but don’t wait too long.”
Then anticipation smiles and makes way for the moment.

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